So Monkey King returned home after slaying the King of
MONKEY KING teaches all his little MONKEYS to make WOODEN SWORDS and march around in formation.
Hey, kids! Iím home, and Iíve got a nifty Scimitar! Letís play army!
This is all well and good but we need real weapons. What if we get attacked?
Umm, we live up on a mountain? We could all just hide behind the waterfall.
FOUR SENIOR MONKEYS
We have privileged knowledge. Itís easy to get real weapons.
FOUR SENIOR MONKEYS
Just go buy some from the kingdom thatís two hundred miles away.
Good idea! Wait, how do you know about a kingdom thatís two hundred miles away?
FOUR SENIOR MONKEYS
We read the book.
I should do that. Ok. You kids play, Iíll be right back.
MONKEY KING uses his CLOUD SOMERSAULT and flies two hundred miles to the
Kingdom of question.
Hmm, there are lots of weapons here but why buy them when I can just steal
And so MONKEY KING makes a MIGHTY WIND that stirs up more POETRY
but also makes
everyone in the Kingdom run into their homes.
MONKEY goes into the Royal Armory and making little monkeys out of his hair,
steals all the weapons. He flies back to FLOWER FRUIT MOUNTAIN.
There, now Iíve got the armory all to myself.
Other Demon Kings are impressed by all this and bring MONKEY KING TRIBUTE.
There, now everyone has real weapons.
Thatís right. Honor me for I am wonderful. Except for this Scimitar, itís
not so wonderful.
FOUR SENIOR MONKEYS
Why donít you go visit the Dragon King of the Eastern Ocean and ask for something
MONKEY KING goes down to visit the DRAGON KING.
Youíve got to give me a copy of this book, it would speed things
High Immortal, what brings you to my home?
I need a weapon and I heard you must have some spares.
Letís see, Iíve got a scimitar, a nine pronged fork, and a giant halberd.
Scimitar is no good and this fork and halberd are both
The fork weights three thousand six hundred pounds
and the halberd weights seven thousand two hundred pounds!
Too light! You must have something else!
Psst! Honey! Give him that piece of magical iron!
But itís just a magical ruler, what use could he have for it?
Do Monkey Generals often find the need to measure the square
footage of their throne
AO-KUANG takes MONKEY KING to see the MAGICAL IRON.
Who cares? Just get him out of the house!
MONKEY KING picks up the COMPLIANT GOLDEN-HOOPED ROD, which is labeled as
such along with its weight of thirteen thousand five hundred pounds.
Itís handy having all these things labeled. And damn handy that this thing
is compliant! Thanks, neighbor. And would you look at that, I can make it
shrink and grow. Neat!
Please, donít mention it.
Now, how about some new clothes to go with this new
Iím afraid I donít have anything suitable. Why not try someplace else?
Nah, Iím too lazy. You know, this is a nice place, it
would be a pity of someone smashed it up with thirteen
thousand pound staff.
AO-KUANG sends a TURTLE GENERAL to beat an IRON DRUM and GOLDEN BELL to summon
the other Dragon Kings to the Palace. They arrive quickly.
Let me go see what I can find.
Hey Bro, whatís the big idea ringing the bell? I was in the middle of dinner!
Iíve got this Monkey here and he wonít go away. I gave him a weapon like
he asked but now he wants clothes! Give him some clothes so heíll go away!
Letís just raise our armies and knock him into next week.
Maybe I wasnít clear enough when I said I gave him a weapon. A piece of
Heavenly Iron to be exact. Do you want to fight a monkey with a staff that
weighs thirteen thousand pounds?
Well that wasnít too bright of you now was it?
I was trying to be a good host.
Letís just get some things together and then send a formal complaint to Heaven
before people lose track of who we are. Our names are all very similar you
Why, I just so happen to have a pair of cloud-treading
I brought this yellow gold chain mail.
I have a red gold cap with phoenix plumes.
Thatís wonderful! What a perfect coincidence! How
did you know to bring these things?
AO-KUANG and his SIMILARLY NAMED BROTHERS present MONKEY KING with some new
clothes in the hopes heíll GET THE HELL OUT!
Four monkeys came by and said they might be useful.
MONKEY KING leaves, creating HAVOC as he goes. The FOUR DRAGONS
brood and write to HEAVEN to complain. MONKEY KING returns to
SCARES THE CRAP out of all the other Demon Kings nearby and forms
a BROTHERHOOD of sorts.
All is FINE AND DANDY until one day WARDENS from the UNDERWORLD
Now Iím looking good!
Letís see, this is the Flower-Fruit Mountain so
that must be the Water-Curtin Cave, so that must
be the Monkey.
The WARDENS drag MONKEY KING off to the REGION OF DARKNESS, which
despite what the name implies is not a Goth Bar, but the home
of the KING OF
Who are you?
Never being one to ask for explanation, MONKEY KING draws his staff
and beats the crap out of everybody until the TEN KINGS OF
HELL come out
to see what
the fuss is all about.
Hold up, what am I doing here? Iím Immortal!
Hey, dude, chill out. Lots of people in the
world have the same name; itís
probably just a mistake.
Never ones to argue with a MONKEY with a really heavy stick, the
TEN KINGS bring MONKEY the REGISTER. MONKEY KING promptly
crosses out his
the names of every other monkey he can find.
I want to see the register of births and deaths
and give me a writing brush while youíre at it.
Even though NO ONE has threatened him in ANY WAY, he fights his
way out of HELL. The TEN KINGS sulk for a bit, before
they decided to
TATTLE on MONKEY
There, that takes care of that! Iím getting out of
MEANWHILE, MONKEY KING trips and then WAKES UP.
Letís tell The Jade Emperor about this, heíll fix that
What do you know; I was asleep the whole
You mustíve been really drunk; youíve been asleep all night!
Silence! Monkey King does not get drunk!
Anyway, I went down to Hell and crossed all of our
names out of the Register of Death, so effectively
And so they party, meanwhile, the DRAGON KINGS and TEN KINGS OF
HELL complain to the JADE EMPEROR.
Sounds like a great reason to have
We gave him gifts and he didnít even say thank you!
And, on a more serious matter, he erased
all the monkeysí names from the
Register of Death, so now weíve got a pack of immortal monkeys on our hands!
Hmm, I guess we canít have that. What shall we do about it?
LONG-LIFE SPIRIT OF VENUS
Letís bribe him. Have him called up here to Heaven,
weíll give him a job
and then weíll be able to keep our
eyes on him.
Make it so.
And so GOLD STAR SPIRIT OF VENUS was
sent down to tell MONKEY KING to come to Heaven
Hey, Monkey King, youíve been offered a job in Heaven.
Itís about time! Thatís a good reason to have a party!
No time for parties, the Jade Emperor
is waiting and heís cranky if he has
to wait long.
Fine with me. You kids be good while
Want to know what his job is going to be? Youíll
have to read the next chapter.